Bowel movements of our local rivals

This is a great photo of our local rivals at another website. Ian Grant looks as if his lemon has come out of Matt Rowson’s arsehole while Matt Rowson looks as if his lemon has come out of Ian Grant’s arsehole.

Gidget?

Ok this looks like a picture of some sexy midgets. The girl with black hair seems to be called Bridget which is fair enough if not slightly obvious – ie Bridget the midget. The girl with the curly hair appears to be called Gidget. Now maybe its just me but Gidget the midget doesnt make any sense, have any of you readers ever met a girl called Gidget?

Our horrendous foreign market knowledge is inexcusable

Tamas Priskin – I do not understand why we paid £1m for this player. Here is a 19 year old, who cannot speak English, is uprooted to a foreign country away from his family and friends plus only scored 10 goals in the Hungarian league last year which is equivalent to League 2 level over here and if you have a recipe for disaster before he has even signed. Watford are not in a position to pay £1m for a player who is not ready to immediately come straight into the matchday squad let alone the first eleven. This isn’t an attack on Tamas, in fact I have sympathy for his situation, and indeed he may even turn out to be a world class player – unfortunately we needed to sign a striker for the here and now and we didn’t do it.

What Watford should have done in the summer is to follow what Bolton Wanderers did. They signed up world class players like Youri Djorkaeff and Jay-Jay Okocha on one year deals. Lets say both were on £30,000 a week, which is approx £2m a season including signing on fee/bonuses etc. They signed those players knowing that if they were to be relegated then the contracts expiring would mean no financial millstone but if they were to stay up then the players would pay for themselves several times over.

This is not an attack on Aidy Boothroyd, he himself has said his foreign market knowledge is very limited. As soon as we got promoted, the club should have employed a Frank Arnesen type figure as a head of worldwide scouting, someone with incredible foreign market knowledge and contacts. We can’t afford to wait any longer. If the club say they cannot afford some of the domestic transfer fees then we will have to look abroad for players to sign during the January transfer window. Its time to get serious if we are serious about staying in the Premiership.

Watford Academy director joke

How were letters to Watford academy director Richard Bate addressed when he was a youngster?

MASTER BATE

Whatever happened to BSAD?

Well you know what I heard:

Matt Rowson got married and had a baby. Now look what happens, he doesn’t write anymore except for some half-assed blog and now you have to read this crap.

Ian Grant can’t be bothered anymore because he is writing a book about lucky chocolate.

Saturday mongfest

Oh yes, the trip to Arsenal will surely be the greatest mongfest yet.

Stand by for a veritable orgy of :

Replica shirts with stains on, yellow wigs, and surely the uberest accessory in the mongs cupboard – the jesters hat.

Get ready for cringemaking chants of :

‘Worst support we’ve ever seen’ and ‘Shall we sing a song for you’ together with mass taunting of the Arsenal fans who will be sat back laughing at the travelling circus.

What the mongs don’t realise is that Arsenal fans view the visit of Watford with the same sense of excitement as we do when the likes of Rotherham and Crewe roll up in town.

The musings of Rupe will be sending our crack team of photographers to the Emirates Stadium to capture all the best from the mongfest.

EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW OF MATCHDAY PROGRAMME V HULL CITY

I have managed to get my hands on an exclusive preview of the progamme editor’s notes for the Hull City cup tie.

‘Wilkommen to Vicarage Road to our visitors Hull City. Our last match against Accrington Stanley was one of the greatest cup ties ever seen here yet hundreds of you left rather than watch extra time. We know who you are, you are traitors and should be marked out as such. To prevent this happening again, we issue you all with special instructions tonight:

1. If you hear a fellow fan dare voice a comment about team changes, then inform a steward IMMEDIATELY, and these traitors to the cause will surely know that speaking out is wrong and forbidden.

2. ANYONE who leaves before the end will be taken aside and shot.

3. If you do not give a two hour standing ovation to Sheku Kamara and Claude Seanla at the end of the game then you will pay the ultimate price.’